I know and do not know what I am searching for.
I know facts, specifics, like his name, his age, the year he graduated from the academy, that he is an Uchiha, a lone Uchiha, and that he is not here right now.
I don’t know what exact time he departed from the village the night he left, even Sakura can’t remember – and she was there. I don’t know how long he had been planning to leave, I don’t know whether he even knew what he was getting into. I don’t know whether he knew what he was getting us, me into.
His name is Sasuke Uchiha, that much is easy. He was, is, my best friend, my brother, my first bond, my one and only. Whether he understands that much, I don’t know. But he was angry, hurt, vengeful, and alone. Alone like I was, until I met him.
Why couldn’t I save him? I was strong, we were practically equals, yet I didn’t understand and even to this day fail to do so. I didn’t understand, didn’t know just how deep the pain in his heart ran. I hadn’t fathomed just how consumed by hatred he truly was. I often ask myself what, if, I would do anything differently – no, if I could do anything differently. Could I have let him in more? Could I have forced him to let me in more? Could I have helped free the lid containing his anguish and let him unleash it a healthier manner?
Could I have stopped his destructive path of self-destruction?
I know he is Sasuke Uchiha and will always be Sasuke Uchiha. But I don’t know if I will always be Naruto Uzumaki to him, I don’t know whether I even exist in his world any longer.
Do you ever think about me, Sasuke? Because I think about you. A lot. And I don’t think you know that, or if you do you certainly don’t accept it as the truth.
Do you know how important you are to me? To Sakura and Kakashi?
I don’t know how he is. Has he become an emotionless druid, incapable of reminiscing fun times, incapable of recognising the bond we shared? If not, then I don’t know how he does it. Am I really that insignificant in his life that he feels the need to heed me little to null attention?
No. That’s not Sasuke Uchiha.
I do know that he, Sasuke Uchiha, would never forget me, ever. Or at least I hope.
Who are you? Who aren’t you?
I may not come to know the new you, but that won’t stop me from trying. I’ll find you whether I know what I’m looking for or not.