the graveyard shift

Robin really did take great pleasure in giving her juniors a little scare every now and again. Their reactions to her morbid stories were truly amusing; they never expected it, every single time.

Which was why when Robin was presented an opportunity for a scare, she was quick to grasp it.

It was the graveyard shift at Straw Hat Eats when Robin had an opportune moment. She was manager of the fast food restaurant—it was only a temporary position, she was helping out her husband Franky, while he looked for a new manager. She was joined by two other employees Usopp and Nami. Usopp had finished his shift, but had been deep in intense conversation with Nami and a customer. That customer happened to be Luffy. He was a regular that you could never get rid of. Not that Robin wanted to, she was ridiculously fond of the guy. Everyone was, if Franky’s reports were anything to go by. And he was Zoro’s boyfriend, Zoro being the delivery guy.

A shriek rang out, causing Robin to look up from her phone. The high pitch of it she assumed it was Nami, but nope, there was Usopp with wide eyes and a hand over his mouth.

“Eh, what’s the big deal, Usopp?” Luffy said, munching on some fries.

Usopp pointed past Luffy’s head to outside the window of the fast food restaurant. “I think I saw something out there,” Usopp said.

Nami’s head whipped around so quickly that Robin was sure Nami would get whiplash. “What? Where?” Nami said, her voice getting higher.

“Out there!” Usopp said, all panicky. “I saw something move!”

Luffy turned his head to look, sucking on his soda straw. “Huh, what’s the big deal? I don’t see anything.”

“I-it was probably nothing, right? Let’s just forget about it.” Nami’s voice was quivering. She turned to Robin. “Right, Robin?”

But Nami turned to the wrong person for reassurance.

“Perhaps,” Robin said, finger on her chin. “But then again there is the tale of the Hash-Slinging Slasher.”

“The Hash-Slinging Slasher!?” Usopp and Nami said in unison. Robin took enjoyment in their reactions, watching them cling to one another. No, she wasn’t a sociopath. She just liked a good scary prank.

Luffy’s eyes were lit up in excitement. “The Hash-Slinging Slasher? Who’s that?” he said.

“Yeah.” Usopp gulped. “Who… who’s that?”

Oh, this was good. Robin really didn’t need anymore encouragement. “Are you sure you really want to know?”

Nami and Usopp exchanged a worried glance. “Maybe we shouldn’t…” Nami said.

“But I wanna know!” Luffy said, huffing. “You guys can just go away if you don’t wanna listen.”

Usopp shook his head. He stood up tall, hands firmly planted on the table. “No. This is something we should know about,” he said, puffing out his chest. He turned to Nami with an affirmative nod. “We can do it.”

Nami looked doubtful, but eventually relented. “Fine. But I’m blaming you if I end up traumatised,” she said. Steeling herself, she turned to Robin. “Tell us, Robin.”

Oh, how these poor young people had trusted the wrong person.

“I should warn you, this is based on a true story,” Robin said. Masking her amusement as much as possible, Robin started her story. “Many years ago, when this restaurant was called something different, there was a young man who worked as a fry cook just like you, Usopp. But he was very impatient, and because of that something awful happened…”

“He fed someone raw meat?” Usopp asked.

Robin shook her head. “Worse.”

“He didn’t practise safe hygiene?” Nami asked.

“Even worse. He opened the lid of the patty grill two minutes early to check if the patties were ready. But he slipped and his arm ended up on the grilling surface while the grill lid came down on top too. He lost his forearm that night.”

Nami and Usopp squealed.

“I wonder if anyone ate those burgers that night,” Luffy said, his face in deep thinking mode.

“Luffy!” Nami said before whacking him on the shoulder.

“A very valid question, Luffy. But one we will never know the answer to. Unless his ghost appears,” Robin said.

“G-ghost?” Usopp said.

Robin nodded. “Shall I continue the story?”

“Yeah!” Luffy cheered while Usopp nodded meekly. Nami was clenching her fists tight in her lap. Robin took pity on them and considered dimming it down a bit. Just a bit, though.

“When he was at the hospital, they replaced his forearm with a spatula.”

Luffy gasped. “Wow, really? That’s cool! I wonder if they could change my hand into something useful…”

Nami scoffed. “You idiot, that’s obviously fake.” She started to relax a bit, not nearly as tense. “That’s too absurd to be scary,” she said. Usopp nodded in agreement, though the way his eyes kept darting around the restaurant suggested otherwise.

Nevertheless, Robin continued. “A few weeks later when he was healed, he was crossing the road out front of this very restaurant when…” Robin slammed her hands onto the counter. ”Bam!” All three of her audience jumped. “A bus hit him!”

“Woah!” Luffy said, his eyes wide. “What happened?”

Robin shook her head. “Sadly, he didn’t make it. And to make matters worse, when they were holding his funeral, the manager of the restaurant here before Straw Hat Eats fired him!”

Usopp raised an eyebrow. “Uh… He was dead, though?”

“Perhaps. But being a fry cook was his whole identity and motivation in life. The cheapskate manager stripped him of his fry cook pride, honour, and of his spatula hand, intending to pass the spatula onto the next fry cook.”

Luffy hummed, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. “I get it. Because of that, his ghost form wouldn’t be able to pass peacefully. Always missing a part of him.”

Robin loved Luffy’s additions. She never expected him to help so much, but he was. And he was making it better bit by bit.

With a nod, Robin continued. “Luffy’s right. And now, every Tuesday—just like today— his ghost makes an appearance at Straw Hat Eats.”

Usopp gulped. “How will we know?”

Oh, this was good. They were playing right into Robin’s hands. “There will be three signs. First,” she held up a single finger, “the lights will flicker on and off.” She held up a second finger. “Second, the phone will ring but there will be nobody on the line.” And finally a third finger. “Third, after he arrives in the ghost of the bus that ran him over, he bangs loudly on the window!”

Nami was hugging her knees. “Then what happens?”

Robin dropped her volume, gesturing for them all to come close. “They say…” She looked at them, all three of them were engrossed, huddled together. “He gets you!” Robin said, raising her voice significantly and grabbing hold of Luffy’s arm. The effect it had was worth it, as Usopp and Nami jumped backwards with a scream, clinging to one another. Luffy burst into laughter.

“Seriously, Robin! Was that really necessary?” Nami said, after she had calmed. Usopp nodded in agreement.

Robin smiled. “Yep.”

“That was great!” Luffy said. “Now it’s my turn!”

Usopp put a hand over Luffy’s mouth. “Nope. That’s it. No more scary stories,” he said. He quickly pulled his hand back. “Ew, don’t lick my hand, Luffy! Go do that to your boyfriend.”

Luffy laughed. “Zoro’s not back yet!” But he complied with Usopp and changed the topic to action movies. Robin tuned out, satisfied after spooking her juniors.

— —

However, an hour later actual spooky stuff started to happen. Stuff that Robin had not anticipated, and probably had a logical explanation, but played right into her hands anyway.

The lights flickered on and off.

“Dodgy lights, huh?” Luffy said.

“Possibly,” Robin said. “Or it could be…”

Usopp and Nami, who had been playing on their phones, looked up.

Robin held up a single finger. “Sign number one.”

Usopp and Nami exchanged a glance, their eyes widening. “The hash-slinging slasher!” they cried at the same time, holding onto one another.

Luffy’s eyes lit up. “Oh, yeah! I forgot about him! Do you reckon he’ll show? I wanna ask him if ghosts poop.”

Usopp karate chopped Luffy’s head. “No, we don’t want him to come, idiot!”

“Ow,” Luffy said, rubbing his sore head. He whacked Usopp back.

“Hey!” Usopp said, his turn to rub his sore head. “That hurt!”

“Good!” Luffy said, jumping out of reach when Usopp tried to whack his arm. Usopp didn’t give up though and chased Luffy around the whole restaurant. Luffy, chaotic as ever, pulled out chairs and tables to slow Usopp down. Robin should’ve probably intervened but it was god knows what hour and it was her only entertainment.

That was until the phone started ringing.

Nami answered it without a second thought. But Usopp immediately froze before slowly turning in Nami’s direction.

“Hello, Straw Hat Eats. How may I help you?” Nami said, but she was frowning. “Hello? Anyone there? Fine. I’m hanging up. Ugh.” She hung up the phone, cursing about prank calls.

But when she looked across at Usopp, her eyes widened in horror.

Usopp was holding up two trembling fingers. “Sign number two,” he said.

Nami gulped, turning to Robin. “Robin! Help us! That’s two signs already!”

“There’s nothing I can do unfortunately,” Robin said, which technically wasn’t a lie. But she was very fascinated by how this was all playing out. It was a very strange series of coincidences indeed. She did take pity on her juniors, but seeing as they were in no real harm, she wasn’t heavily concerned.

Luffy sat back down in his usual spot and was fiddling with the straw. “Do you think we will need one of those ouija board things to speak with him?” Luffy asked.

“Maybe,” Robin said. She looked over at Usopp and Nami who appeared more on edge than Robin assumed they would be. They were huddled together and their eyes darted around the restaurant. It was amusing but even Robin was not that much of a sadist. Yes, she enjoyed spooking them a little, but seeing them as visibly distraught as they were was the total opposite of amusing. She decided to take pity on them, admitting to herself that maybe she had taken this too far.

Robin approached the pair and sat down at the table with them. “The story wasn’t real,” Robin said. “It was a complete fabrication that I came up with on the spot. You’re completely safe here.”

“But, but.. the signs!” Usopp said.

“Just a strange coincidence, I assure you. I’m sure there’s a non-morbid, completely rational explanation for them.”

Nami shook her head. “Nuh-uh. These things don’t just happen. Robin, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but these things don’t just happen!”

Robin gave a small smile. “If that’s what you believe.” She had tried. She went back to Luffy near the counter and heard Usopp trying to convince Nami everything would be okay.

“Awww, it wasn’t real? I can’t ask the ghost if he poops?” Luffy asked.

“Well you can still try your chances with a ouija board,” Robin said.

“Nah. Maybe later when Nami and Usopp aren’t being babies,” Luffy said. And while he was one to freely speak his mind with no filter, Robin believed he did sometimes have some secret intention behind the things he said. Such as this, his attempt at getting Nami and Usopp to stop being scared.

“We’re not babies!” Nami said. “We’re perfectly rational and trying to ensure our safety! If you were smart you would be too!”

“If you say so!” Luffy said, laughing. This did it for Usopp, as he got up from where he was and started chasing Luffy around the restaurant, equipped with one of the restaurant’s current children’s meal toy: a slingshot. He managed to shoot the three rubber balls at Luffy with surprisingly perfect accuracy, all three hitting their target. Once he was out of balls, though, Luffy turned around and started chasing him. The two fell into laughter as they parkour’d around the restaurant chasing one another. It really was not the way an employee and customer should conduct themselves and was definitely against the restaurant policies, but Robin wasn’t fazed; Franky knew what they were all like. Robin did wonder, though, where young people these days found the energy to behave like this during a graveyard shift.

Their game was interrupted by the sound of a large vehicle passing by. The insufficient street lighting only made the silhouettes of whatever out there visible. And the vehicle appeared to be…

“A bus?” Nami said, standing up. “There are no buses on this route at this time.”

Usopp’s turned his attention to outside, too. “Why did it stop?” Usopp said. He turned to Nami. “Why would it stop?!”

Nami gulped. “It’s not… It couldn’t be…”

“Sign number three!” Luffy said.

Robin had to admit, these coincidences sure were entertaining. How they had played out like this, she had no idea.

“Robin, please tell me this is all part of an elaborate prank you set up,” Usopp said, his voice wavering.

“Sorry, Usopp. I would not go to these lengths for a prank,” Robin said, which was true. It was a pity she couldn’t comfort them. “I’m sure it’s fine.”

But then the light right outside the restaurant flickered off.

“Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit,” Usopp repeated. Nami quickly joined in as they both ran to hide behind the restaurant counter.

There was a loud banging on the front window.

Usopp and Nami shrieked, but even their curiosity out won their fear as they kept their eyes just above the counter to see.

Luffy was grinning. “Is it the ghost!?”

Robin was curious too. She wasn’t one to get scared easily, but it was about time they put an end to this charade (before her juniors both had a heart attack and sued the place). (Usopp wouldn’t but Nami probably would. Girl loved her money.)

Grabbing a heavy flashlight that could double as a baton, Robin gestured for Luffy to come with her. There was power in numbers, after all, but she was hoping it was just a single lost drunk person.

Luffy happily came along to investigate. When they got to the front window, Robin shone the flashlight, unsure what to expect. The light shone through the window, finally revealing the truth.

And she lost it laughing. So did Luffy.

It was Zoro. But what on earth was he doing?

Luffy rushed to open the restaurant door. “What are you doing, Zoro? The door’s this way! Don’t tell me you couldn’t find it!”

Zoro quickly came inside. “Well, the light went out! How was I to know!” Luffy just laughed and pressed a kiss to Zoro’s cheek.

Robin could hear Nami and Usopp’s sighs of relief as they joined them.

“You’re late back, Zoro,” Nami said, narrowing her eyes. Was she still suspicious of something?

Zoro shrugged his jacket off, which was partially torn. It also appeared he had collected some fresh minor wounds. Just what had happened?

“Shut it, you’re not my boss.”

“But I am,” Robin said. “And I would like to know, too.” It wasn’t unusual for Zoro to get back late, he was constantly getting lost, but he was usually free of any injuries. The injuries concerned her.

“My bet is he got lost!” Usopp said.

“Ha!” Nami laughed. “Anyone who would oppose you on that bet is a fool.”

Zoro glared at Nami and Usopp briefly, before taking a seat at a table. “Fine.” He sighed. “I had finished making my delivery and was on the way back when some asshole made me crash my bike into a power line, which kind of fucked up the surrounding street lights and what not. So I tried calling the restaurant and I heard Nami answer but she couldn’t hear me? I thought maybe I had muted myself accidentally but I didn’t know how to fix that. But anyway, a guy with an empty party bus drove past shortly after. He saw me stranded and brought me and my bike here. And then… when I got here the light was out so I couldn’t see and banged on the windows.”

Robin nodded. “First and foremost, are you okay?” she asked. “What injuries did you sustain?”

Zoro shrugged. “Just minor cuts and bruises. I was lucky. It could’ve been a lot worse.”

“I would recommend you still go get checked over by a doctor,” Robin said.

Luffy nodded. “You say you’re fine, but Chopper always says you’re not indestructible. I’ll take Zoro there once we leave here.”

“Alright,” Zoro said as he pulled Luffy over to sit on his lap. “Missed you,” he said, tilting Luffy’s chin down to press a brief kiss to Luffy’s lips. Luffy smiled.

“Ugh, PDA alert,” Usopp said, but he didn’t really care if the fond smile on his face was anything to go by. Robin remembered how relieved Usopp had been when Luffy and Zoro finally got together. Their obliviousness to each other’s feelings had been more frustrating to watch than anything.

“Huh,” Nami said. “The signs really make sense now. That is freakishly coincidental, though.” After a moment Nami’s eyes lit up. “Robin, are you sure you don’t have the power of foresight? We could totally start selling your readings.”

Robin chuckled. “No thanks.” Only Nami could do a complete 180 from feeling scared to feeling capitalistic.

Nami hummed. “Which powerline by the way, Zoro?”

Zoro scratched his head. “Uh. One near Baratie?”

There was dead silence as Robin, Usopp, and Nami all stared at him. “What,” Nami said.

Zoro frowned. “What’s the issue?”

“Why the heck were you near there? That’s in the opposite direction to here!” Usopp said.

Zoro rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh.. well. The roads changed?”

Luffy laughed loudly and hugged Zoro tightly. “Zoro got lost!”

“Tell us something we don’t know,” Nami said, as they all broke into laughter. Even Zoro couldn’t resist. Luffy’s laughter was infectious.

They were a rowdy unpredictable bunch to have as company, but Robin wouldn’t have them any other way. She could see the graveyard shift becoming her favourite. As for the scary stories? Well, a change of targets was in order, she thought while watching Luffy and Zoro share a drink. It would be a bit more difficult to spook them, but Robin wasn’t one to back down from a challenge.

Who said graveyard shifts were boring?