through the dark of the night
Summary
Sasuke’s nightmares may never go away, but neither will Naruto.
Sasuke awoke with a fright and was sweating all over despite the cold winter season. He sat upright in his bed and waited for his breathing to even out. It had just been a dream, he told himself. Just a dream or maybe nightmare was more appropriate in this case.
When his heart rate had settled down he got up out of his bed and headed to the bathroom to splash his face with some water. Part of him hoped the water could cleanse him of his bad dreams, but he knew that was wishful thinking.
As he climbed back into bed he glanced at his phone. It was nearly 3am. Sasuke laid back in his bed and watched the ceiling. He hoped he could get back to sleep but at the same time was afraid to. He wanted a full night’s rest for once with no horrible dreams. Was that really too much to ask?
He wasn’t tired one bit, so he turned his bedside light on and grabbed his phone. There was one person he knew who would be awake at this time and coincidentally was the only person he wanted to be awake. He opened his texts and typed away a message to Naruto.
Naruto was a freelance web developer which meant he had a lot of autonomy and choice over his working hours. He was a bit of a night owl—claimed he got more done late at night and into the early hours of the morning. He had been Sasuke’s best friend since college.
Although they had different fields—Sasuke in business, Naruto in computer science—they had both enrolled in the same elective in their first year— a literature class. They initially considered each other with reservation, but little did they know what was in store for them. It had been a literature class with a professor they could never forget. Kakashi Hatake, the professor who badly sang the whole 5 minutes of Adele’s Hello upon their first lecture. He also had some… interesting interpretations of what certain movie scenes were symbolic of. Needless to say, Naruto and Sasuke were equally weirded out and bonded over the awkward experience.
Their friendship had developed fast and Sasuke had found himself appreciating just how effortless and easy everything was with Naruto. He was so bright and happy and he always had time for Sasuke, always checking in on him. Sasuke’s other friendships were good, too, but none of them felt like the one he shared with Naruto. None of them made his heart beat fast like Naruto did… which was eventually how Sasuke realised that, hey, maybe these feelings mean something else. Maybe, just maybe, he liked Naruto more than he expected.
A year had passed since they’d both graduated college and Sasuke had long come to terms with his feelings for Naruto. But that didn’t mean he had shared them, no. That was the one thing he hadn’t shared with Naruto.
Sasuke turned on his PS4 and put on his headset, joining the voice chat as he did.
“Sasuke!” came Naruto’s voice in the headset.
Sasuke smiled. Naruto was always genuinely excited to hear from him. The feeling was mutual, though.
“Hey Naruto,” Sasuke said.
“What’s up? Not able to sleep again?” Naruto asked.
Sasuke hummed and joined the game Naruto had set up. “Something like that.”
There was silence and then Naruto said, “You can talk to me whenever you want or need. You know that, right?”
There was a hint of a smile on Sasuke’s lips. “I know. I appreciate it.”
“Good,” Naruto said. “So are you ready to get destroyed?”
Sasuke chuckled. “Bring it, Uzumaki.”
Naruto was always the best at distracting Sasuke. His laughter alone was comforting enough.
— — —
Sasuke was lost. He was in some kind of labyrinth and it was really dark. He could only just make out the shapes in front of him. Every so often he heard a giggle and it was really starting to freak him out.
He stepped forward, stretching his arm out to feel his way around. He came into contact with something soft and ripped his arm back. He had established that the labyrinth walls were made of bricks, so he definitely should not be feeling something soft.
Then there was another giggle. Closer this time. Sasuke turned on the spot but it was no use, it was just getting harder and harder to see.
“Time to go, Sasuke,” said a voice. They giggled right after.
Sasuke started running, but it was no use. He kept running into deadend after deadend. There was no clearance in sight.
But then everything lit up, so brightly that it took a few seconds for Sasuke’s eyes to adjust. Sasuke nearly had a heart attack as he saw a young child with no face. The child was wearing a yellow dress with no shoes and was wielding a large knife effortlessly, despite their small frame. Sasuke didn’t recognise anything about this child. What was happening? Nothing made sense.
Sasuke stepped back and stepped back again. He made to run but the ground surface was uneven and he fell backwards. The last thing he saw was the child coming at him with the knife. He closed his eyes and waited for the pain to hit.
But it never did. Confused, Sasuke opened his eyes. He immediately wished he hadn’t.
In front of him was Naruto, blocking the child’s way to Sasuke. Only, the child had thrust the knife into Naruto. Sasuke’s eyes were wide in horror. There was blood everywhere. Naruto’s blood.
Naruto glanced back at Sasuke and smiled. “I’m glad you’re safe, Sasuke,” he said and then his head flopped to the side. He was dead. Naruto was dead.
— — —
Sasuke awoke to the real world with panic in his eyes. That wasn’t the first time he’d had a nightmare where someone sacrificed themself for him, but this one had left him significantly shaken, especially since it had been Naruto. He knew Naruto was alive and okay but he needed to hear his voice. He needed to be reassured by the man himself.
With trembling hands, Sasuke picked up his phone from his bedside table. It was 2AM this time. He brought up Naruto’s number and pressed call.
“Sasuke?” Naruto said, picking up the phone after two rings.
“Hey,” Sasuke said, but as much as he tried he couldn’t get rid of the shakiness in his voice.
Naruto clearly heard it, too. “What’s happened? Are you okay?”
“Y- yeah. Just wanted to hear your voice. Everything’s fine.” Though everything did not sound fine and Sasuke hated himself for being so vulnerable. He was a grown adult! He should be able to deal with this alone.
Obviously not happy with Sasuke’s response, Naruto said, “I’m coming over.”
“No. It’s okay, Naruto. I’m fine,” Sasuke said, his voice more stable this time.
“Fine. Prove it to me when I get there,” Naruto said. Sasuke had forgotten just how stubborn his best friend was. This was an argument he knew he wasn’t going to win. He conceded early.
Sasuke sighed. “Fine.”
“Great! See you in 15,” Naruto said and hung up.
Just as promised, Naruto rocked up at Sasuke’s house 15 minutes later.
As soon as Sasuke opened the door, Naruto tackled him into a hug. When Naruto pulled back he, still holding Sasuke’s shoulders, looked right into Sasuke’s eyes. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Fine. Just like I told you on the phone,” Sasuke said, trying his best to dismiss Naruto’s concern and appear unaffected. It clearly wasn’t working though, if Naruto’s second hug was any indication.
“Come on, I brought some hot chocolate stuff over,” Naruto said, picking up his bag and leading Sasuke to the kitchen. “And I know you hate sweet stuff, but don’t worry you’ll like this.”
Sasuke sat at his kitchen counter as he watched Naruto go about making the hot chocolates. He looked cozy in his thick sweater, sweatpants, scarf and beanie. Too cozy. Sasuke grabbed Naruto’s scarf and beanie, placing the latter on his own head. Naruto just resumed making them hot chocolates. It was wild seeing how well Naruto knew his kitchen, he was almost as familiar with it as Sasuke was himself. It brought a little smile to Sasuke’s face.
Naruto set out two mugs and glanced across at Sasuke. “What’s got you smiling, huh?”
“Nothing,” Sasuke said, a bit too quickly. He tried to school his face into a neutral expression but Naruto had always been able to see right through him.
Naruto raised his eyebrow. Sasuke didn’t like when Naruto gave him that look. Like he could read Sasuke’s mind. Because they both knew he pretty much could.
After Naruto finished stirring the contents in the mug, he pushed one across the counter top to Sasuke.
Sasuke took one look at the mug he had pushed across to him. “That’s not hot chocolate.”
Naruto rolled his eyes. “Duh. You hate sweet stuff. So I’ll have hot chocolate and you can have tea. But it’s some fancy brand that Sakura recommended I try.”
“Oh,” Sasuke said. Naruto being thoughtful was nothing new but still, Sasuke couldn’t hide the small smile on his lips.
“Drink up,” Naruto said as he brought his mug to his lips. Sasuke did as he was told but recoiled as he burnt his tongue. Naruto laughed and moved around the kitchen counter so he could sit next to Sasuke.
Sasuke frowned at his tea. “You’re the one who said to drink up!” he said.
“I didn’t think you actually would. Not straight away,” Naruto said, amusement clear as day in his blue eyes. “Sorry.” But he hardly looked apologetic. Sasuke just rolled his eyes.
“So,” Naruto said and nodded at Sasuke’s television. “Movie?”
“Sure—on the condition that we’re not watching something ninja-related,” Sasuke said. Naruto was obsessed with ninja movies, to the extent that he could quote every single line in many of them.
“Boo. You choose then,” Naruto said as he placed his hot chocolate on the coffee table and made himself comfortable on the sofa. Sasuke turned off the lights and followed, choosing to sit on the other end.
As soon as the opening credits started, Naruto quirked an eyebrow. “Godzilla Vs. Kong? Really?” he said.
“You got something better?” Sasuke said.
Naruto grinned. “Only ninja movies.”
“No,” Sasuke said, cutting him off quickly. Naruto laughed softly. That was a sound Sasuke could never get sick of.
The film didn’t really capture Sasuke’s attention. He’d just put it on because it was the first option that came up. He had other things on his mind, like that stupid dream. But he continued to let Naruto think the film held his interest.
About 25 minutes in, Naruto used his foot to poke Sasuke’s ankle. Sasuke had been staring straight at the television the whole time but hadn’t processed even one minute of it. He could feel his eyelids getting heavier.
“Tired?” Naruto asked.
“A bit,” Sasuke responded. He didn’t want to admit just how tired he was because he wasn’t ready to fall back to sleep. He feared those dreams would return.
Naruto smiled and waved Sasuke over with his hand. “Come here.”
Sasuke hesitated. “Why?”
With a roll of his eyes, Naruto patted the space next to him. “Keep me warm.”
Oh.
Trust Naruto to be too clever. He knew that Sasuke would be more inclined to do as he asked if it was to benefit Naruto instead of himself. In this case keeping Naruto warm. Sasuke chuckled but nevertheless moved closer to Naruto. He would play along. Even if he was pretty sure Naruto was doing it for Sasuke’s benefit.
He sat leaning into Naruto’s side and Naruto wrapped his arm around him. He was so warm that Sasuke was tempted to call him out for his blatant lie. He didn’t, though. He knew Naruto was naturally affectionate and only sought to comfort Sasuke, which Sasuke was not opposed to at all. The warmth that spread to him had him practically melt into Naruto’s side.
They carried on watching the film like that. It was comforting and just felt right being held by Naruto. He could get used to it.
Sasuke fell asleep. And for the first time in ages, it was peaceful. Nothing in his dreams to scare him. He awoke feeling well-rested for once. How long had he been out? How long into Sunday was it? Sasuke glanced at the clock on the adjacent wall. It was just a little after 11AM.
He saw that Naruto had adjusted their positions and put a blanket over them. They were both lying on their sides and Sasuke could feel Naruto pressed into his back with his arm over Sasuke, keeping him close, somewhat protectively. It made something flutter in Sasuke’s chest.
“You’re awake,” came Naruto’s voice from behind him, his voice a bit raspy from sleep. Naruto made no attempt to move from their positions. “Did you sleep well?” And something about his voice just made Sasuke feel safe and reassured, like everything was going to be okay.
Sasuke grabbed hold of Naruto’s hand that was over him and laced their fingers together. Maybe it wasn’t so bad being vulnerable. Maybe he could let Naruto in. He swallowed. “Yeah. Best sleep I’ve had in a long time,” he eventually said, quietly.
Naruto squeezed Sasuke’s hand. “I’m glad.” Sasuke was grateful that Naruto never tried to pry or talk about Sasuke’s dreams. Just having him there by his side was all the help Sasuke could ever want.
“So. What’s for breakfast?” Naruto said, sitting up.
Sasuke sat up and stuffed a cushion into Naruto’s face before getting up off the sofa. “For you, nothing. But I’m having toast.”
“Toast is good,” Naruto said.
Sasuke entered the kitchen and popped some slices of bread in the toaster, enough for both of them, before filling up the kettle and flicking it on.
He was looking in his fridge for what he was going to top his toast with when he felt a hand on his hip and Naruto pressed up against his back, his chin on Sasuke’s shoulder. Oh. Sasuke’s heart was beating fast. This was new. Is this something they did now? Sasuke knew how physically affectionate Naruto was but he’d never done this before. Though, Sasuke supposed, they had never cuddled in their sleep together either, until now.
A small smile graced Sasuke’s lips. He felt his face heat up at their close proximity. He composed himself as he grabbed a tomato.
Naruto reached out and grabbed the strawberry jam before Sasuke closed the fridge door. He stepped back from Sasuke and immediately Sasuke missed Naruto’s warmth.
The toast popped as Sasuke got out two plates. He had an avocado left on the kitchen counter, so he decided to have that with the tomato on his, much to Naruto’s disgust.
“Strawberry jam is so much better,” Naruto insisted, spreading his toast. He inspected the jar which had been barely touched. “Why do you even have this if you don’t eat it?”
“For idiots like you who actually like the stuff,” Sasuke said. He glanced at Naruto whose eyes were already on him, watching. Sasuke quickly looked back at his toast, hoping his face wasn’t as red as it felt.
Could he be any more obvious? He had liked Naruto for a long time and had no problems keeping it under wraps. But now Naruto had shown some physical affection and Sasuke had liked it a bit too much. So much that he didn’t want it to stop. Naruto made him feel safe. Happy. Loved. But… Sasuke frowned. He had to remind himself that Naruto probably made a lot of people feel that way. Sasuke wasn’t special.
He took a bite from his toast and could still feel Naruto’s eyes on him. “It’s rude to stare, you know,” Sasuke eventually said.
“I know,” Naruto said. It didn’t deter him one bit. “It’s fascinating, though. Seeing your brain go a million miles a minute.”
“One of us has got to use their brain,” Sasuke said, deflecting.
Naruto, persistent as ever, stepped towards Sasuke and poked him in the forehead. “What is going on in there?”
Sasuke huffed. “Nothing interesting.” It wasn’t like Sasuke could just admit that he was thinking about Naruto in a non-platonic way.
Naruto stepped back and grabbed his second slice of toast. “If you want to talk about it, I’ll always be here to listen. But if you’d rather not, that’s cool. I’ll still be here. Can’t get rid of me that easily.”
How did Naruto always know exactly what to say? Sasuke took a bite of his toast. As he chewed on it he considered the consequences of telling Naruto how he really felt about him. Would it ruin their friendship if Naruto didn’t feel the same? Likely not. They were best friends, after all. Naruto wasn’t a jerk. He’d once been asked out by his friend Hinata and while he hadn’t been interested in her romantically, he’d put his best foot forward in making sure their friendship stayed intact.
However, there was no denying that Sasuke confessing might make things a bit strange or awkward. And what would be the point of telling him when Sasuke was pretty sure the feeling was not mutual.
“There, you’re doing it again,” Naruto said.
And well, Sasuke had never really been one for self-preservation.
“I like you. A lot.”
Well, fuck. He’d done it now.
As much as Sasuke wanted to turn his head and pretend he’d said nothing, some masochistic part of him was more invested in seeing Naruto’s reaction.
Naruto dropped his slice of toast and was wide-eyed. “You what?” Naruto said.
“I’m not repeating myself,” Sasuke said.
And then Naruto’s face slowly transformed from one of shock to one of glee. His smile was big and bright and the corner of his eyes were crinkled. Before Sasuke knew it he was being enveloped into a hug by his best friend’s strong arms.
“I like you too, idiot,” Naruto said.
Sasuke leaned back, but Naruto’s grip was unrelenting. He needed to clarify what he meant before he misunderstood Naruto. “I have feelings for you, Naruto. Not of the platonic kind.”
Naruto’s grip loosened. He pulled back, looking Sasuke in the eyes. “Yea and I’m telling you the feeling is mutual. I’ve liked you from day one.”
Sasuke frowned, still skeptical. “You have? And all that time you’ve been fine just being my friend?”
“Of course,” Naruto said. “I’ve always been content to be your best friend. As long as I’ve got you in my life I’m happy.”
Sasuke smiled. That sounded familiar. Familiar because it was the exact same way Sasuke felt.
But now… Sasuke could feel his cheeks burning as he took in the full implications of Naruto’s comments. Naruto felt the same way. The feeling was mutual!
“You idiot,” Sasuke said, but the fondness in his tone belied the words he spoke.
Naruto grinned. “We’re both idiots.” He stepped back and grimaced, looking down. His foot had landed on the toast he’d dropped. “Okay, I’m the bigger idiot,” he said as he bent down to clean up the mess. Sasuke chuckled and dropped a roll of paper towel on Naruto’s head.
“I’m gonna shower first,” Sasuke said before making his way to the bathroom. He couldn’t hide the smile on his face. What a turn of events.
— — —
Once they had both showered, Naruto joined Sasuke on the sofa. Sasuke was preoccupied on his phone reading an email when Naruto pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Hey, Sasuke.”
Sasuke locked his phone and looked over at Naruto. His cheek tingled where Naruto had kissed it. “Mm?”
“You wanna go out with me?”
Sasuke looked at Naruto and considered the question for a few moments. Of course he wanted to, but Naruto was fun to tease. “Only if you don’t subject me to more ninja movies.”
“Hey! I thought you liked me!” Naruto whined.
“Yeah, but that doesn’t extend to your taste in movies.”
Naruto sighed. “Fine. No ninja movies.”
That got a laugh out of Sasuke. The fact that Naruto was willing to give up ninja movies spoke volumes, believe it or not. “You idiot. Yes I’ll go out with you even if that means watching ninja movies.”
Naruto’s eyes lit up. “Oh. Good. Can I kiss you now?”
Sasuke’s response? Naturally, he pulled Naruto in by the collar of his t-shirt and pressed his lips to Naruto’s.
It was everything and more.
— — —
As for the nightmares? They didn’t immediately stop; Sasuke hadn’t expected them to. However, they did decrease in frequency when Naruto was around.
The first nightmare that Naruto had been present to witness was a week into their new relationship status. It was the weekend and Sasuke was spending the night at Naruto’s. He’d fallen asleep in Naruto’s arms halfway through the movie they were meant to be watching. He didn’t know what Naruto heard from him, he just remembered Naruto gently waking him up and reassuring him everything was okay.
Sasuke understood that his nightmares were most likely a result of all the trauma he’d experienced growing up, but what he didn’t understand was how nonsensical they were. There would be people or places he had never seen or situations he had never experienced before. He had tried explaining one nightmare to Naruto but struggled to articulate it. Naruto had listened and pulled him close. He had said they didn’t have to make sense to be any less frightening.
When Sasuke decided to start speaking with a therapist, Naruto was behind him all the way. It was a long process, but slowly the nightmares became fewer and fewer. Sasuke didn’t think he would ever completely get rid of them, but he could take comfort in the fact Naruto would be there for him through it all.
“Can’t get rid of me that easily,” Naruto had once said and just like every other promise Naruto had made, he stood by it and didn’t go back on his word.
Sasuke loved him.