ready, steady, go
Summary
In which Zoro and Sanji have to work together, as a married couple, to beat the ultimate challenge.
Zoro was restless. He had a lot of energy saved up as he hadn’t done his daily workout yet. And it would have to wait because they’d just arrived at a small island to quickly stock up on supplies before they reached Elbaf.
Luffy had already been invited to a restaurant where you could eat free so long as you could conquer their gigantic portion size. Needless to say, Luffy wasn’t intimidated by that challenge. He was excited and had quickly accompanied the local, with Chopper by his side.
Zoro was with Nami, Sanji and Jinbei. Nami had roped him into carrying all their shopping once again. Which was kind of a workout in itself, given the sheer quantity of supplies, and clothes for Nami, that was bought.
As they were walking back to the ship to store the supplies, they were stopped at the dock by a fancy man in a maroon coloured suit. He had a very long black moustache and gelled back hair. “Why hello there, friends! Don’t you look strong!” he said, observing Zoro.
Zoro paid him no heed.
“Say, how would you feel like a real challenge? I can tell that shopping is hardly difficult for you.”
Ignoring him, Zoro carried on.
“Or maybe you’re not strong enough. However, your blond friend just might be. His muscles are decent too, if I do so say myself.”
Zoro grunted and dropped the shopping on the floor. Sanji’s muscles were decent. Zoro knew that fact very well—he’d fought with and studied him enough to know that. But he couldn’t let this man belittle him. “What’s your stupid challenge? There’s no way the cook could outperform me.”
This got Sanji’s attention. “Huh? I would beat you any time, any day, marimo!”
“Ha. You wish,” Zoro said. He made eye contact with Sanji and could see the challenge in his visible eye. A spark of excitement coursed through Zoro’s body.
The salesman’s eyes crinkled in delight. “Well then, why don’t you both come?”
Nami, who had been distracted by a little jewellery stall, turned her attention to the salesman. “How much does it cost?”
“Nothing but your time, madam.”
Nami’s eyes lit up. “In that case, take them! Get them out of my hair for five minutes.” She turned to Jinbei, fluttering her lashes. “Do you mind carrying the stuff to the ship for me, Jinbei?”
Sanji spluttered while Zoro just shrugged. He was long used to Nami’s antics. Sanji should’ve been too, but somehow he was taken by surprise every time something like this happened.
“But, I’d rather stay with you!” Sanji said.
“Fine by me, if you’re not up to the challenge,” Zoro said, which fired Sanji up immediately.
Nami sighed. “Quit squabbling like an old married couple and go!” She walked off with Jinbei and the shopping in tow.
“Follow me, gentlemen,” the salesman said.
And that was how Zoro and Sanji found themselves in what appeared to be a big circus tent, with a full crowd watching on. They both stood centre stage next to the salesman.
“Welcome, welcome one and all!” came the salesman’s booming voice on the microphone. “Tonight, we have two new challengers for our ultimate challenge! Please give them a round of applause!”
The crowd did as instructed.
“But first, let Patsy the clown to entertain you while I explain the rules to our contestants.”
A person in a stupid clown suit entered the middle of the stage while the salesman ushered Zoro and Sanji over to the side. The salesman turned his microphone off.
“So, our competition is a series of three. The first looks for hand-eye co-ordination, the second is speed, and the third is a mix of strength. How does that sound?”
“What’s the prize for when I win?” Zoro asked.
Sanji scoffed. “You mean when I win.”
The salesman tilted his head. “Oh no, you two are a team. You’ll be facing one of our athletes.”
That was disappointing. At least with Sanji as his opponent, he knew he would get a decent challenge. “I’ll pass then. The cook can take on your challenge,” Zoro said.
Sanji chuckled. “Worried I’d show you up, marimo?” And that was just like Sanji. He knew how to get right under Zoro’s skin.
“Ha. Not confident on your own, cook?”
“I’m not the one running away.”
The salesman cleared his throat, “Gentlemen! If you compete together, it’ll definitely be worth your while. We’ve only had one team actually beat this challenge. Quite famous people. You might know of them.”
Zoro crossed his arms. “Oh yeah? Who then?”
“Dracule Mihawk and Red-Haired Shanks. Quite the unconventional team, but they were the first and only team to beat the ultimate challenge.”
“Fine. I’ll do it,” Zoro said, begrudgingly. Whatever Mihawk could do, Zoro could do better.
“I don’t have to wear a stupid thing on my head this time, right?” Sanji asked. Zoro chuckled as he recalled the Davy Back Fight the crew had competed in a few years back. It had been a pretty silly hat the cook had to wear.
“Not at all, but you asked about the prizes so let me fill you in! If you win, a picture of you both will be immortalised on our victors wall and you’ll go home with a cash prize!”
The cash prize was probably shit, but he’d done more for less. This could at least be fun and get some of his restless energy out, as well as outdo Mihawk.
“And if we lose?” Sanji asked. Which was a good question, actually. Zoro hadn’t thought of it himself but there was often a catch with things like this.
The salesman twirled his moustache. “Then you owe us a fee.” Sanji looked about to protest but the salesman put his hand up. “And you can’t quit now unless you want to pay an even bigger fee.”
Tch. What a scam. Zoro just looked to Sanji. “That just means we have to win, right?”
Sanji put out his cigarette. “Looks like it.”
The salesman clapped his hands together. “Great!”
— —
Five minutes later, it was their time to shine. Zoro and Sanji took centre stage, alongside their opponent. Their opponent had scaly skin and four arms and four legs. He was likely a fishman.
The salesman cleared his throat. “Our first challenge tests hand-eye co-ordination and dexterity! It is our juggling competition!”
Juggling wasn’t Zoro’s expertise, but how hard could it be?
But then he watched as his opponent had somehow produced five juggling balls from somewhere and was already effortlessly warming up with them, at least four balls in the air at all times. He was even doing tricks! This could prove a challenge.
“Now, challengers. Do not fear, we know Handful Henry is at an advantage here with extra limbs, which is why you two will be competing together! Normally, we wouldn’t allow this, but we don’t get the opportunity to see a married couple compete!” the salesman said.
Zoro and Sanji exchanged a look.
“Uh, we’re not—” Sanji said.
But the salesman ignored him and carried on with the instructions. “You two will compete as a team to juggle as many balls between you as possible. Henry will do the same. The team that successfully juggles the most balls after two minutes, wins!”
Sanji put his hand up, gesturing between himself and Zoro. “But we’re not—”
The salesman turned his microphone off. “You want out? It’ll only cost you 500,000 beri.”
“You shitty—” Sanji stopped himself and pinched the bridge of his nose. Zoro knew exactly how he was feeling, but he remembered Nami had warned them not to make a scene, lest people figure out who they are. “Can you at least let us compete individually?”
“No can do, sir! Now get ready,” the salesman said, gesturing to the juggling balls on the table in front of them before he turned his microphone back on. “Alrighty, we’re going to start challenge one. Ready. Steady. Go!”
Henry juggled like an expert, with such ease and natural flow. He was clearly very experienced and very correctly limbed for this challenge.
Zoro on the other hand was trying to co-juggle with Sanji, which meant them simultaneously tossing balls at one another. It was difficult, but they built their way up from two balls, to three, to four. After four it got a lot harder and they stuffed up a few times but picked themselves up and kept trying. They eventually developed the knack for it that allowed them to juggle up to eight balls between them. Zoro was feeling pretty confident about it.
Until he looked over at Henry. The guy was juggling a lot more balls than they were. That was immediately evident. Fast and skillfully too.
The time was called up.
“And our winner is…. Handful Henry with 12 juggling balls! You boys gave it a good crack, but Henry just came out ahead,” the salesman announced, lifting one of Henry’s arms into the air.
Zoro clenched his jaw. “Give us the next challenge.”
“Of course, in due-time, sir. We need to set up for it first, so go take a seat backstage.”
Once backstage, Zoro sat on the old looking sofa while Sanji lit up a cigarette and paced back and forth.
“Relax, cook,” Zoro said.
Sanji glared at Zoro out the corner of his visible eye. “How much is this fee going to be if we lose?”
“Zero beri.” When Sanji gave him a confused look Zoro clarified, “Because we’re going to win. There are still two challenges left. Don’t count us out just yet.”
Sanji stopped pacing and took a drag from his cigarette. He chuckled lightly. Zoro liked when Sanji did that. It somehow stirred good feelings within him.
“Hell yeah. Let’s win this, marimo,” Sanji said, punctuated by a grin. Zoro returned the grin.
And then they were called back on stage.
— —
The salesman explained the next challenge was a running race. They were up against Handful Henry again but Zoro and Sanji had to have their legs joined together, three-legged race style.
“Marimo, I’ll match your pace but we’ll start with outer legs going forward first. It’s easier than it sounds,” Sanji said quietly.
Zoro wasn’t very hopeful this would turn out well, but he had to rid himself of that mindset. They could do this. He just had to have faith in the cook’s words. It sounded like he’d done this before. What a peculiar thing to have experience in.
They were ushered over to the start line, which proved awkward enough with their touching legs joined together. Once there, Sanji wrapped his arm around Zoro’s shoulders. Zoro wrapped his around Sanji’s back, his hand on Sanji’s hip. He felt a tremble from Sanji—nerves, perhaps.
Zoro noted that this was the most they had ever touched each other.
“Okay, our married couple—are you ready?” asked the salesman over the microphone. Zoro and Sanji nodded. “And you, Henry?” Henry nodded too. “Alright, first team to complete a lap of this ring and grab the flag wins!”
Zoro and Sanji prepared themselves.
“Ready. Steady. Go!”
Henry started off strong, immediately running ahead of them. However, Zoro and Sanji developed a feel for running as a three legged team. Sanji kept mumbling “one, two, one, two” to match each of their steps, increasing in frequency until they were going too fast for his mumbling to keep up.
That’s when they passed Henry and his four legs. The fishman wasn’t as dominant with running as he had been juggling.
They got to the flag first and the crowd went wild. Sanji thrust the flag high in the air with pride, a manic grin on his face. His cheeks were flushed red from exertion and his eyes crinkled in joy. Zoro didn’t know what overcame him but he pressed a quick kiss to Sanji’s cheek.
Sanji’s eyes widened and looked a way to freak out—Zoro was too, if he was honest. What had made him do that?
But then he remembered he had an out. “We’re husbands, right?”
Understanding dawned on Sanji’s face, as well as a flash of a complex expression that Zoro couldn’t name—was it disappointment? It was quickly replaced by a neutral expression. “Right,” Sanji said.
The circus assistants helped them untie the ropes keeping their legs tied together before ushering them backstage again so they could set up the final challenge.
Zoro sat on the same sofa, while Sanji stood. Henry joined them backstage, looking at them curiously. “You two don’t seem very couple-y. You know if you lied about that then you’ll have to pay the fee regardless.”
“We got that,” Sanji said. He looked down at Zoro. “Didn’t we, love?”
He knew Sanji was just playing along, but hearing him refer to Zoro as love made something flutter inside of Zoro.
“Sure did, babe.” Ignoring his beating heart, Zoro reached forward and tugged Sanji towards him by his belt loops. Sanji, oddly, didn’t resist, as he was manoeuvred onto Zoro’s lap, effectively straddling Zoro.
Sanji’s visible eye was wide as he made eye contact with Zoro. Zoro tried to communicate a ‘trust me’ with his eye and it must have somewhat worked because Sanji gave the slightest, most subtle nod.
Zoro brought a hand up to Sanji’s face. Sanji’s face was a thing of beauty; Zoro had always admired. Never up this close though. His thumb on Sanji’s chin angled Sanji’s face down a tad before slowly brushing against Sanji’s bottom lip. He felt Sanji intake a breath at the touch.
That seemed to prompt something though because the next thing Zoro knew, Sanji had knocked his hand away and surged forward to kiss him.
It was brief and unsure at first, but something about it felt right. Zoro wanted more and if the whine Sanji made was any indication, then he did too. Zoro deepened the kiss, letting Sanji in to taste him. Their kissing was rough, and not tender at all—though wasn’t that just them to a tee? There was something so carnal about their desire. Zoro kissed like he couldn’t get enough and Sanji matched him.
Only when somebody cleared their throat did Zoro remember where he was. He and Sanji separated and looked at Henry, who just had an eyebrow raised. “I think you proved your point,” he said.
Sanji’s cheeks had deepened a darker shade of red and Zoro loved it. He wanted to always be the one responsible for it. They exchanged a glance but before anything could be said they were being called back on stage.
— —
The third and final challenge was a joust against Handful Henry and of the circus assistants. One person in the team would have to carry the other on their shoulders. The person sat on the shoulders would then use their inflated jousting pole to try knock the other team off their teammate’s shoulders.
“You wanna be top or bottom?” Zoro asked.
Sanji’s face flushed at the question and Zoro could feel his own heating up once he realised what he’d just asked.
“I’m better on my feet and you’re the one who wields swords. It makes sense if I run us around while you wield the pole.”
Zoro nodded; he’d thought similar. And while Sanji didn’t have as much upper body strength as Zoro—because let’s be real, not many did—Zoro knew his weight wouldn’t prove problematic. He had full confidence in Sanji. When they worked as team, they were brilliant. It was just having the right motivation to do so. Most often those moments shone best against strong opponents in physical fights, but Zoro had faith they could utilise their teamwork for this challenge too.
Once up on Sanji’s shoulders, they were led to the jousting zone of the stage and Zoro was handed a big inflatable jousting pole. He experimented with the light weight of it in his hands, giving it a practice strike or two. It wasn’t ideal—he was used to metal swords after all—but he could adapt.
The salesman eyed up both teams, nodding at them both for confirmation.
“Alright then, without further ado… Ready. Steady. Go!” he said.
And they were off. Henry and his teammate came charging at Zoro and Sanji. The assistant had a determined look in his eye as he thrust the pole forward, whacking Zoro in the shoulder with it. He seemed surprised that it wasn’t enough to dislodge Zoro. Unfortuntaely for him, it would take a lot more than that to take Zoro and Sanji down.
Sanji, for his part, more than kept up with Henry’s team. He was always swift and nimble on his feet and even with the addition of carrying Zoro on his shoulders his movements hardly slowed.
They charged at Henry and Zoro thrust his pole forwards, landing a solid hit on the assistant’s chest. The assistant wobbled a lot just with the one hit but he managed to recover swiftly enough; the assistant and Henry had probably competed in this event together many times, so when it came to experience they had that advantage.
Zoro kept striking the assistant, but the assistant was striking back with renewed vigour. When nothing seemed to be working on either team, Zoro and Sanji backed off several metres.
“Gonna charge at speed,” Sanji said.
“Bring it,” Zoro said.
Without further wait, Sanji gripped Zoro’s ankles harder and set out to an almost-sprint like pace. Zoro knew it was nowhere near Sanji’s fastest—he’d seen that first hand many times before—but it was fast enough to alarm Henry and his teammate.
Zoro spun the pole in his arms and when they got near the assistant and Henry, he pulled it back before striking forward with it, letting the forward momentum fuel it into a serious whack right into the assistant’s chest.
The assistant went flying off of Henry’s shoulders. Oops.
Zoro lifted the inflatable pole above his head and let out a mighty victory roar while the crowd applauded him and Sanji.
He got down from Sanji and the two shared a glance. It was probably the adrenaline running through him, but Zoro was on edge, riled up. He wanted to grab Sanji and kiss him to the East Blue and back. And no, he didn’t even want to question that line of thinking. He just wanted to do it.
So, naturally, he leaned into Sanji’s ear. “I could kiss you right now, husband.”
When he drew back he saw the smirk on Sanji’s face. “Do it then.”
And Zoro would’ve… had it not been for that damn salesman’s timing! He interrupted them, ushering them both forward. “Ladies and gentlemen, we have our victors!”
Zoro grinned while the crowd went wild. When he turned to see Sanji, the other man was already looking his way. He had something of a shy smile on his face. It felt like it was reserved for Zoro and Zoro only. Zoro knew his face was heating up at the thought.
— —
Once all the celebrations were over, the salesman led them both backstage. He pulled out 5,000 beri. “Here you go. Your winnings.”
“Huh? This is all?” Sanji asked. It was a measly amount indeed.
The salesman shrugged. “Take it or leave it.”
“Were you really expecting us to pay 500,000 beri to quit?”
“Oh, no. Your navigator just told us to say that. She’s in the stands now, actually.”
Zoro stomped out of backstage and back into the arena and as predicted, Nami was the lone figure in the stands—the rest of the crowd had cleared out. She gave Zoro a wave.
“It’s not all bad,” Sanji said from beside him, startling Zoro out of his thoughts. “We got to make out.”
The annoyance that had been flaring in Zoro was suddenly swept away, leaving him as quickly as it came. He looked to Sanji, who was avoiding his gaze, and realised he couldn’t refute the point.
“I’d like to uh.. do it again,” Zoro said.
Sanji finally turned and looked at him. “I hope you mean the making out and not the circus shenanigans.”
“Duh.”
Sanji then laughed. A full-bellied laugh. And it was a nice thing to hear, to know that Zoro brought on this burst of joy from the cook. Zoro watched Sanji like he was the most fascinating thing ever. And to be fair, he always had been to Zoro. Even after all this time together on the same crew, Zoro was constantly learning new things about him. And each new discovery was thrilling.
That’s when Nami took the opportunity to join them. “Good job, boys. We’re leaving the island tomorrow afternoon. Enjoy your time and winnings,” she said with a wink.
“You’re not going to take the winnings?” Zoro asked.
Nami feigned shock. “Now would I do that? Well, I was tempted to but it’ll get you out of my hair for a night so go crazy. But not too crazy; you only have 5,000 beri. Should be enough to get you a room and something to eat.”
“So generous of you,” Zoro remarked.
Nami took a step back. “Don’t push it,” she warned before leaving.
Zoro turned to Sanji. “Ready, husband?”
“You bet,” Sanji said, his smile lighting up his whole face. Zoro couldn’t help the grin that overcame his face. He couldn’t wait to get his hands on the cook, make his face light up in ways reserved only for Zoro’s viewing.
First and foremost they were crewmates and always would be. But nobody else on the crew made Zoro’s heart beat in the same way Sanji did. And that was exciting. It wasn’t a new and unfamiliar feeling—it was one he had always gotten around Sanji—but it was only now that he was finally understanding it, what it meant.
And he had this stupid challenge to thank for it.
And Nami, apparently.
Zoro and Sanji walked out of the circus tent, not quite hand in hand for that wasn’t them, but the electricity between them was real even without the physical contact.
It was going to be a good night. And, if Zoro was reading the situation right, a promising beginning of something excellent.